Bleeding hearts

Ok so the heading is misleading – it is about bleeding just not about hearts!


This is a topic that many men don’t like to think about let alone talk about. I have always been very open about my periods and how troublesome, painful and unpredictable they were. Many of my male friends over the years have questioned my openness saying they didn’t really feel the need to know, but I believe it is important for men to understand that periods are real and something that women have no control over but they are something that have an enormous impact on our lives. For many years I was known as Mary weekly as my periods came twice or three times a month, then Mary daily because I bled every day for about 10 months. Urghhh!


Years ago when we first started Funhouse in Lower Hutt and there were posts on the adult forum saying things like “Who is Funhouse? One day they are $250 an hour and overnight they put their prices up to $280 – and they are in Lower Hutt!! They won’t succeed”! And yet here we are!


This was a time when Adult Forum clients were arriving for bookings and announcing themselves by their forum names – it was always a mystery to me as to whether they wanted more time than they were paying for, unprotected sex, or perhaps some ‘special service’. I had no real understanding of why they would even do this. Obviously it cast a huge shadow of stress over the lady they were seeing, about the fact that this client may write an unfavourable review if they didn’t connect or if they felt they weren’t treated like the celebrity they thought they were.


There was at the time a thread by a client who went to see a lady at a very inexpensive agency and when he was in the shower with her he was fingering her and he pulled out his finger to find blood on it. I believe he cancelled the booking, as he was so disgusted. And his thread was about how repulsive and irresponsible it was for ladies to work when they have their period.


The day he arrived at Funhouse in Lower Hutt and proudly announced his forum name I found it hard to ignore the bile rising in my throat and fight the urge to slap him. Luckily the girl who had been running late for this booking arrived and took him away and thankfully she was someone who was so toned and had such a low body fat percentage she didn’t actually bleed so I knew we were safe from that particular review threat.


So that was that…..


But then a few weeks ago we had a new client visit us and after the booking the lady came and reported that she had started bleeding near the end of the session, half way through the sex. She was mortified and said she thought he had handled it but that he didn’t ‘come’. The ‘not coming’ thing is quite a common phenomenon so I asked how old she thought he was, her thoughts were mid 30’s so I suggested that he may well be mature enough to realise that women bleed.


We lost a sheet, a pillowcase and a towel due to the blood, never a good thing, these costs add up fast but it certainly isn’t the ladies fault. It was 10 days until she was actually due to bleed so why would she have suspected it might happen today?


Ten minutes after he had left I received a text saying how she had started her period halfway through and how he hadn’t wanted to negotiate with her at the time but that he didn’t think it was fair that he should pay full price.


There were texts too and fro and him saying he had been to us several times before – but he had needed the address for this booking so I presumed he was a new client. The lady involved was in a stew about whether he may write an unfavourable review of her. Panic and embarrassment had set in with her, she left work early that day.


I explained that women wear sponges for working when they have their period or are expecting it, or they don’t work at all during this time and that we lost a whole bunch of linen through this happening too so obviously she wasn’t expecting it to happen or she would have been wearing a sponge at the very least. It was a $280 booking and I offered him a $50 discount for his next visit. After all he had stayed the hour and had sex for about 40 minutes of it.


His final comments were that he just didn’t expect this kind of thing to happen at a high-end place like ours………….. Does that mean he believes Kate Middleton doesn’t bleed or that Meryl Streep never had periods? What does that mean?


Women are women, we all bleed unless our body fat percentage falls below a certain level – as with female body builders or body sculptors cutting up for competitions, or anorexic women who are so skinny there is nothing to bleed from!!!


Working with other women will throw even the most regular menstruation cycle, it only takes an alpha female to pull everyone else into line with her, so some will bleed early, some late, some twice a month and some just when they are off on a beach holiday. Vigorous sex can bring on a woman’s period, and buying tickets to a concert can make it hold off until the day of the concert. We have no real control over this, doctors like to think they have answers with pills that cause strokes after prolonged use, or infertility for women who really want children, but really there is no hard and fast rule for this.


If women wore sponges for every booking JUST IN CASE they bleed they would get infections and be off work and have to take nasty chemicals often to cure the infections.


When this happens to a sex worker she is mortified, so just like when a sensual massage client lets off a ‘fruity woof woof’ just as the masseuse has her head above his arse body-sliding him – pretend it didn’t happen – don’t make a big deal of it – it happens – get on with the business at hand.