This week we had a ‘pre-booked’ but also random visit from the Ministry of health. My very educated guess is that they were following up on reports of unprotected services being offered by some agencies in Wellington.


I like to think that no one advertises or is stupid enough to offer it but they are out there. The reason for this is that there are men who are stupid enough to try and procure these ridiculously dangerous and ludicrous services. Their interview with me consisted of asking a question to which I would give a long answer then they would check through their list of questions – realise I had answered many with the one sweep and move on to the next set!


One of the questions was “Do you ever get clients asking for unprotected services?” I replied “Yes but thankfully not often” They asked what I say to these requests.


My answer was “You are an idiot, don’t call here again and I hope your knob rots off” they both laughed and one asked “But what do you actually say – “That is what I actually say” I said.


I school up all of our ladies to deal with these situations, some of the classic lines that men use are

“all the other girls here do it”

“I used to see **** she always did it”

“I’m clean I have regular checks so you are safe with me”

“If you are on contraception there is no harm”

“Just let me put the tip in without one”

“I will pay you $$$$ to do it”

“If you do it I will see you regularly”


If these ‘lines’ don’t work they will sometimes resort to just trying to take the condom off while the girl isn’t looking (why do you think we have such big mirrors??) try and rip the end of the condom so they can say it broke, or just use physical force to ‘get it in’ – you guys are not welcome and will NOT get a second chance to disrespect our ladies.


Just yesterday a client who has recently become a regular client of ours visited with one of our newer ladies. The ladies that have previously seen him have had no criticism of him, they have said he is a nice enough man. He asked the new girl if she would have sex without a condom, to which she replied “no”. He then offered her $100 extra (we are a $400 an hour place so ask yourself about the math here) she continued to resist his unflattering and disrespectful request and he then got coy and said he was a bit naughty, but again offered the money. She refused and the booking ended up with his happy finish (a covered one).


After speaking to all the other girls who have seen him and them all confirming that he does this as a matter of course but never resorts to anything physical I decided he is a prime candidate for a Mary text telling off, so I texted him. (And bear in mind there is a fine balance here with warning the girls beforehand or telling off the clients and risking them slinking away to an agency where they are not known or will get away with this shite – and losing the $$ – after all there are only so many clients in Wellington) And if they are just asking and not pressuring it makes for a thin line when it comes to the business decision.


My Text read


“ ******* You won’t EVER try that again will you????

Ministry of health are doing checks in Wgtn because of the reports of certain agencies providing that most stupid of all services.


Surely you realise if a girl gives in to that request she will be giving into it often and those clients will be seeing girls who are giving into it often – you will get knob rot.


It is very disrespectful and annoying so don’t do it”


A day went by without a reply and then he said he felt stupid and could I apologise to the ladies for him. He isn’t a bad man and so I don’t want to brand him or lose him as a client if he learns his lesson but he is one of the nicer smarter ones and I know how few and far between they are in the ‘other end of the industry’ so for God’s sake guys do your part and make it a safer industry to be involved in for all concerned.


This is the kind of shit that burns out the women in the industry and makes them speak badly of it when they leave. It is also the kind of reasoning that governments use when they opt for the Nordic model instead of the New Zealand model of decriminalization. Criminalize the clients because they don’t deserve to be legally allowed to access sexual services. But there are so many of you that do – it is just a small number that ruin it for the rest.


It is a very thin latex covering – you still orgasm – you just need to pull your heads in and put them in a condom.