As a follow on to my last post about girls showing their faces on agency and directory sites I would like to add that as a Madam I see myself as a ‘stand in’ mother and full time mentor. I take that duty of care extremely seriously.


I would never suggest I am smarter than any of our girls but I am sure as heck a lot more experienced in life and have seen a lot of things that have turned out very differently to what was initially expected. Hell when I started as a Madam who would ever have thought sex work would be decriminalized?


That still doesn’t stop the stigma that comes with it and the attitude of some that sex workers are disposable.


While New Zealand leads the way in the fight to decriminalize sex work internationally – and someone has to fight to get the good messages out there – I don’t believe that young women having photos of themselves all over the internet at this stage will help that. It is kind of like ‘once you are out of the trench there is nowhere to run’. There is a lot that can be done to make this a safer place to be before we get to that stage.


I remember sitting in on a conversation years ago between two fathers both with small children. One father was boasting about how smart his little girl was, probably two or three years old at the time, and they lived right on the beach.


He said “She is so smart she can turn on all the hot taps in the house, AND she climbs right over the fence and runs down to the waters edge”


The other father whose children were a similar age replied “That isn’t smart mate, it’s smart when you can make her understand why she SHOULDN’T do that”!


Hindsight is 20/20 and while I have no regrets about my life thus far I do wish that someone had talked me out of doing one or two silly things that have impacted unfavourably on my quality of life. While I am proud and have always been out about my role in the sex industry, both as a Madam and as a Dominatrix I am too old to have children and not about to try and enter the Vanilla workforce and put to use the education I worked as a sex worker to pay for.