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Franco – Funhouse Testimonial

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I don’t think I have enough fingers to count off the preconceptions I had about being a working girl. I’d read the horror stories online, I was intimidated by the biographies of sex workers here and there (“do you HAVE to be into bondage and pain to do it???”), and I “knew” that the only men who saw working girls would be sleazy and old.

The first thing I learnt as a working girl? None of that was true.

I’d been curious about the sex industry for the better part of two years- I liked sex, and I liked money; plain and simple. My ‘journey’ in began with a Thursday night alone, chilling in bed, a few glasses of wine, and a recently single status. A google search lead me to an array of websites, of which only one stood out- Funhouse.co.nz (actually, a few stood out, but for all the wrong reasons- did I really want to work for a business still advertising in Comic sans?!). Of course, I was certain I would never be accepted into a place like Funhouse. I didn’t have a flat or toned stomach, I’m short, I still get spots on my face and back, and I simply never felt like I could pass as “drop dead gorgeous”.  I was confident in my sex drive- but was I enough for sex-work? Fortunately, the voice in the back of my head said “What’s the worst that can happen!”, and I flicked off a quick email to Mary. In hindsight, I’m sure it was just some insecure babble of writing!) Mere minutes later, I had a reply, and a brief conversation lead to a meeting the next day- “Strike while the iron is hot”, in Mary’s words.

I was terrified as I turned the corner towards where we agreed to meet. I had no idea how it all worked. I understood the ‘sex’ part, but what about before? After? How did a session go? What was the protocol? There isn’t exactly a guidebook! The books, the articles, the movies- they never explain what happens in the ‘in between’ moments. Mary couldn’t have been more amazing. No matter what I asked, no matter how awkward I felt, or how stupid I thought my question would sound, Mary answered in a friendly nature. It was all a bit of a whirlwind- an email Thursday night, met up for a beer Friday (after which Mary gave me a tour of the premise- WOW), then Saturday morning I had my very first client. Funnily enough, I felt more nervous meeting Mary for the first time than I did my first client! Apart from a brief 10 second worry as I first sat down with him (“Is it too late to run!?” “Shut up brain!”), everything just came naturally.

In the year since I began working at Funhouse, I have developed a level of confidence I never expected. Both inside work and outside work, I feel more charismatic, more attractive, more respected, and able to present myself in a mature manner. Seeing clients is very infrequently a “wham bam thank you mam” affair- it is usually a pleasant engagement including some excellent conversation (of course, not always!), or at least somebody in awe of my breasts enough to let me ramble on; it’s a win-win deal!

I have very few friends aware of what I do, however when the topic arises I do encourage my female peers not to be scared of the idea of the sex industry. I’ve told many a story of “a friend of mine told me….”, and can’t wait for a day when the world accepts the sex industry. And although few of my friends know what I do, through the Funhouse girls I’ve made some of the most amazing friends. There is no competition, no jealousy, no bitterness, and no disrespect. Prancing around in a changing room and admiring all the girls sure shows what a range of people can fall under the category of ‘sexy’. Varying widely in shapes, sizes, and proportions, in Funhouse I have found a family of beautiful, intelligent, and unique girls (and amazing Mary as our Mammah Bear, always there for some good banter).